You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Who died my cat blue again?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
