if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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