This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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