You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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