Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
