The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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