i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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