We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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