Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
