did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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