Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
