Duck Duck Cougar?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
