I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
