just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize