she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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