I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
