That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
