I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
