I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
