who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
