And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
