TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
