We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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