Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
