I think I died a long time ago.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
