But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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