your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
