u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
