How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
