He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
