i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
