My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she looked like the before picture.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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