yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
