In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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