He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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