she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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