My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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