biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
