Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I intend to get homeless drunk
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
