His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
