Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
