If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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