This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
