you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm sobbing to NWA
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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