Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
