yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
