Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
