is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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