i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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