WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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