I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
