I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
